iPad 2: Wife Says No, but Apple Says Yes

That's funny.

I would've returned the wife before the iPad. Those are easier to find.

Thank God I'm gay! If I had to ask a wife for permission to buy an iPad - I think I'd rather shoot myself in the head.

Wow.. this thread is STILL active?

I have to jump back in here, thanks to the comment below, though.

I'm of the opinion that "dangerous" is EXACTLY the right word to use! Look, it's GREAT if you've got a successful marriage where both of you can responsibly share one bank account and manage money in such a way where you always approve of what your partner is doing with it. But that's clearly not possible for ALL relationships!

If you ask people what the biggest factors were when they got a divorce, you'd find that besides the "he/she cheated on me" story, the other TOP reason would be financial issues/stresses.

My partner and I will probably always keep our own separate bank accounts, and it seems to me that's far EASIER to manage than if we lumped everything together. What we've been doing lately is using a PayPal account of mine as a place we can both dump money into, as needed, if we want to pay for something together. (For example, our clothes washer just broke and I went out to get a new one. She put some of her last paycheck into PayPal to help pay for it.) Otherwise, I never leave a balance in that account - so it makes it really easy to use it for this purpose. With other things, we just split up the responsibilities of who is going to pay for what. She takes care of the gas bills that come in, for example, and does all of the grocery shopping. I always pay the mortgage payment myself. She pays for her vehicle payment and I pay for mine.

With this arrangement, both of us know that the money we make is all accounted for. (No way I want to deal with the uncertainty of thinking I have X amount in checking to buy something with, but find out after I write a check that we only had Y amount, because she bought things on the debit card that day I wasn't aware of.) We also get to feel like the things that we buy personally are still our personal purchases.

This isn't about "trying to sneak something past the other person". With this arrangement, that doesn't even come up. If you buy it with money in your bank account, then I don't *care* -- so you shouldn't even need to feel like it had to be "snuck past me" in the first place!

"Dangerous" ... this is junk talk. Who have you been listening to that suggests this? My wife and I have been married 12 years and have shared the same bank account that whole time, no separate accounts. (Jesus, what a nightmare to keep track of!) We've never once had a conflict about spending like you suggest we should. Why? because we live as WeegieMac does, the poster you're ripping on. We have respect for each other and our mutual needs as well as our individual desires. And we make sacrifices when we need to - both of us. Most of the responses in here act like marriage is a competition to see who can get what, or who can sneak this or that past their spouse. It's just shameful. What a tiring life that must be.

That's a really dangerous way of looking at it. It's much better to have three sets of money -- our money, my money, and your money. Preferably in separate bank accounts. In a situation like you sketch, usually one or the other spouse ends up doing most of the purchases with the communal chest, and that can lead to conflict when the other one wants to get something for himself.

Kids have pocket money, which they can spend as they see fit -- adults should have at least some money that is unquestionably theirs as well. It's a lot easier to agree, once, that M and F's personal entertainment budgets are $n per month, than it is to agree that this september, we'll get a couch, and then maybe in january we'll get an ipad, etc... Budgetting and saving apply on that level as well as the communal property level.

"Dangerous" ... this is junk talk. Who have you been listening to that suggests this? My wife and I have been married 12 years and have shared the same bank account that whole time, no separate accounts. (Jesus, what a nightmare to keep track of!) We've never once had a conflict about spending like you suggest we should. Why? because we live as WeegieMac does, the poster you're ripping on. We have respect for each other and our mutual needs as well as our individual desires. And we make sacrifices when we need to - both of us. Most of the responses in here act like marriage is a competition to see who can get what, or who can sneak this or that past their spouse. It's just shameful. What a tiring life that must be.

amazing that this story is believed, when it is just marketing

Why would it matter what his wife said?

Never stopped me.